Academic Writing
Session 9 – Revising Your Essay
Session Overview
When you revise a paper, you re-write it by building on what you have already done in order to improve upon it. Writers express thoughts in sentences and good sentences reflect clear thinking. Therefore you need not only know what you want to say, but must also know how to say it so that your readers can easily follow your train of thought.
OBJECTIVES
Upon completion of this section, students should be able to
•revise their essays to improve upon them by:
•revising the content and the organization
•using varied sentences
•correcting sentence fragments and run-on sentences
Session Outline
The key topics to be covered in the session are as follows:
•Revising the content
•Revising Organization and Coherence
•Varying sentences
•Using Sentence Coordination Effectively
•Using Sentence Subordination Effectively
•Avoiding Sentence Fragments
•Correcting Fragments
•Avoiding Run-on Sentences
Reading List
•Read Units III & IV Of Meyers (2005) Gateways To Academic Writing
Topic One
REVISING THE CONTENT
•To revise the content of your essay, check to see if your paper is unified.
•First of all, check the introduction to ensure that your thesis statement is clear and that it summarizes the points you have developed in the body paragraphs.
•Next, make sure you have enough body paragraphs to elaborate your thesis. These paragraphs must also include enough specific and relevant evidence.
•Build up your supporting details and examples if necessary.
•Below are two introductory paragraphs.
Paragraph A is the original paragraph that lacks a vivid introduction, i.e. it fails to provide clearly the idea that the writer wishes to develop in the paper.
Paragraph B is a revised version.
Paragraph A
I have watched many television programs that supposedly show the way of life of Africans. My friends have often asked me if the way Africans are portrayed is true, and I have to say “no.” Africans are not as primitive and helpless as they are portrayed on western television programs and movies; they are like any other modern people.
Paragraph B
When people think of Africa, they usually remember a group of people with primitive cultural practices, a disease infested area, a picture of a black-haired, dark-skinned, and a skinny child who is naked and walks barefooted. I often have to tell my European friends that the picture they get about Africa from television documentaries and movies is not true. Most Africans are not as old-fashioned and hungry as they are made to look on our television screens. Many people in Africa are like many modern people. They eat, study, work, have a social life, and dress as most people in the western world do; but then again, some of their customs may differ somewhat from that of the western world.
•Notice that in Paragraph B, important background details are provided as well as a clear statement of the central thesis of the essay, starting from “Most Africans are not…”.
Topic Two
REVISING ORGANIZATION AND COHERENCE
•You need to take note of the organisation of your essay. Ensure that you have an interesting introduction, a complete conclusion, a clear method of organisation as well as transitions and other cohesive devices to achieve coherence in your essay for smooth reading.
•You can re-organise major sections for a more logical or more natural sequence. Use each major paragraph to move the essay a step further.
•For example, if writing an essay on ‘Ethnic Jokes.’ After explaining and illustrating the etiquettes of telling an ethnic joke (i.e. in the introduction) go on to develop the following topic sentences in their respective paragraphs. Study the sequence:
a)People should not tell jokes to put others down. [Paragraph continues to explain this point].
b)They should tell jokes only about their own ethnic group. [Paragraph continues to give reasons].
c)Some jokes about other ethnic groups are meant to be affectionate rather than demeaning. [Paragraph outlines the two types of joke].
The sequence of the paragraphs is haphazard however. There is no logical progression from one to another. Re-organisation as well as fine-tuning of the points is therefore necessary to help the reader follow your train of thought. Consider the revision in the following:
a.There are truly offensive jokes about other ethnic groups. [Paragraph continues to illustrate this type of joke]
b.There are affectionate jokes about other ethnic groups. [Paragraph continues to illustrate this type of joke]
c.People should tell jokes about one’s own ethnic group. [Paragraph continues to provide reasons for the advise]
•The points have been reordered so that they discuss the undesirable side of joking about ethnic groups before turning to the desirable side. Thirdly on the basis of paragraphs 1 and 2, the reader is advised to avoid inadvertently hurting people from other ethnic groups by sticking to jokes about their own ethnic groups. The reader should find this sequence easier to follow.
•In revising paragraph organisation, remember to provide transitions as bridges between them. As, transitional expressions are important cohesive devices.
Click on the link below to Download the complete PDF of this session.
Click Here
Thank You!
0 comments:
Post a Comment